Sunday, April 3, 2011

True Words of an Actual Double Negative

Attention dear followers! I hate to be the barer of bad news but alas, there is a plague upon the internets! A sickness not spread by vermin, or through the air, but by well meaning bloggers, not unlike myself, that have been infecting rainbows and sunshine on the known writing universe.

I know what you’re thinking (Unless you are a vampire) What’s wrong with Rainbows? What’s wrong with sunshine?

A ton if it’s only a bunch of half truths.

It has become a major blog theme, stay positive, keep going, BE HAPPY.

So what if I want to be miserable? I don’t, but what if I thought emotions, not all of them bliss, and rocks and hard places were more rewarding than any amount of fake sunshine could ever be?

How many of you have read ACROSS THE UNIVERSE by Beth Revis? For my afore mentioned Rock Dwellers you can buy it here (do it):

http://www.amazon.com/Across-Universe-Beth-Revis/dp/1595143971

*Spoilers- sort of*
You know how on The Godspeed, there was no sun. There was a ball of light, a giant bulb in the sky that made crops grow and let people survive, but it wasn’t real?

Would you want to live like that? Live some where the sun was fake? Be it, on another planet, or only in your head? I wouldn’t. I’d rather have a thousand days of real rain clouds than a thousand days of false sunshine.

It’s not that I have a storm cloud over my head all the time. It’s just that sometimes I am sad, miserable even, angry at myself. Why waste time or energy telling myself otherwise? It’s not worth it, and I need you to know, that despite what others might tell you, you don’t have to feel guilty about being unhappy about rejection, being sad something didn’t work out. Feel. And then don’t cover those emotions by pretty and positive exclamations all over the internet. You are killing people who haven’t figured it out yet.

When I started getting revise and resubmit responses on the first full manuscripts I ever sent out,I felt like a failure. So many people had read it, so many people wanted completely different things from it, and alas this story is for another day. But I needed to tell you that to tell you this. So many people said it was some miraculous awesome thing, and all I could think was  THIS REALLY SUCKS. Yes, I understood how it was a good thing. No one sent me a hundred form rejections on my birthday at least, but at the same time I started to feel like maybe I’d never succeed because my attitude was all wrong.

Because I wasn’t always rainbows and sunshine, and sometimes after a bad day I think maybe I should just quit.

I thought it was just me, but it’s not. I just prefer telling the truth to faux stars, and rainclouds to plastic rays of light. I just like to feel. I just want to write.

4 comments :

JEFritz said...

Very true! I don't much care for falsities designed to "spare someone's feelings." I'd rather face the truth, even if it makes me miserable, and deal with it.

I'm okay with unhappiness. I don't understand people who are so afraid of it, they can't accept any negativity. They prefer the fake stars.

cynthiarobertson said...

I thought it was just me, but it’s not. I just prefer telling the truth to faux stars, and rainclouds to plastic rays of light. I just like to feel. I just want to write.

This reads like poetry! Keep writing! Rejection sucks, though. No doubt about it.

regectedriter said...

I am definitely a huge believer of embracing your feelings and not forcing happiness when you feel like crap, because in the end you'll still feel like crap. You gotta embrace in order to move on.

But then you do, happily move on. So you don't have days just full of rain clouds, you'll have those days with real sunshine and rainbows, too.

Rejection SUUUUUUUUUCKS. Everytime I get a rejection I want to stop writing and give up. But that's why I started my blog. I wanted to do something that would make me feel better - and that might make other people smile, too.

But it's clear that you're a talented writer and that rejection won't be long for your future. You will be finding enthusiastic YES's before long.

Great blog. Great writer. Keeping going!

regectedriter said...

I am definitely a huge believer of embracing your feelings and not forcing happiness when you feel like crap, because in the end you'll still feel like crap. You gotta embrace in order to move on.

But then you do, happily move on. So you don't have days just full of rain clouds, you'll have those days with real sunshine and rainbows, too.

Rejection SUUUUUUUUUCKS. Everytime I get a rejection I want to stop writing and give up. But that's why I started my blog. I wanted to do something that would make me feel better - and that might make other people smile, too.

But it's clear that you're a talented writer and that rejection won't be long for your future. You will be finding enthusiastic YES's before long.

Great blog. Great writer. Keeping going!